{"product_id":"smells-like-i-tried-9oz-scented-candle","title":"\"Smells like I tried.\" 9oz Scented Candle","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"pointer-events-none h-px w-px absolute bottom-0\" aria-hidden=\"true\" data-edge=\"true\"\u003e \u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex flex-col text-sm pb-25\"\u003e\n\u003carticle class=\"text-token-text-primary w-full focus:outline-none [--shadow-height:45px] has-data-writing-block:pointer-events-none has-data-writing-block:-mt-(--shadow-height) has-data-writing-block:pt-(--shadow-height) [\u0026amp;:has([data-writing-block])\u0026gt;*]:pointer-events-auto scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]\" dir=\"auto\" tabindex=\"-1\" data-turn-id=\"request-WEB:9ecec66f-ba99-45a3-84e3-c2d9345656fc-11\" data-testid=\"conversation-turn-4\" data-scroll-anchor=\"true\" data-turn=\"assistant\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"text-base my-auto mx-auto pb-10 [--thread-content-margin:var(--thread-content-margin-xs,calc(var(--spacing)*4))] @w-sm\/main:[--thread-content-margin:var(--thread-content-margin-sm,calc(var(--spacing)*6))] @w-lg\/main:[--thread-content-margin:var(--thread-content-margin-lg,calc(var(--spacing)*16))] px-(--thread-content-margin)\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"[--thread-content-max-width:40rem] @w-lg\/main:[--thread-content-max-width:48rem] mx-auto max-w-(--thread-content-max-width) flex-1 group\/turn-messages focus-visible:outline-hidden relative flex w-full min-w-0 flex-col agent-turn\" tabindex=\"-1\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex max-w-full flex-col gap-4 grow\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"min-h-8 text-message relative flex w-full flex-col items-end gap-2 text-start break-words whitespace-normal [.text-message+\u0026amp;]:mt-1\" dir=\"auto\" data-message-author-role=\"assistant\" data-message-id=\"3a8bad2b-4f17-4a45-8ebb-6ad9bbf1e682\" data-message-model-slug=\"gpt-5-3\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex w-full flex-col gap-1 empty:hidden\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"markdown prose dark:prose-invert w-full wrap-break-word light markdown-new-styling\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"27\" data-end=\"127\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"36\" data-end=\"62\"\u003e“Smells Like I Tried.”\u003c\/strong\u003e The official fragrance of minimal effort and maximum illusion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"129\" data-end=\"462\"\u003eLight this \u003cstrong data-start=\"140\" data-end=\"167\"\u003e9oz Clean Cotton candle\u003c\/strong\u003e when you want your home to smell like you did laundry, cleaned the house, and generally have your life together… even if the truth is aggressively different. One flick of a lighter and suddenly your space smells like crisp, fresh linens instead of whatever chaos was happening five minutes ago.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"464\" data-end=\"688\"\u003eMade with \u003cstrong data-start=\"474\" data-end=\"511\"\u003enatural soy wax and a cotton wick\u003c\/strong\u003e, it burns cleanly without parabens, phthalates, plastics, or synthetic dyes. Because if we’re going to fake having it together, at least the candle can be responsible about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"690\" data-end=\"953\"\u003eThe glossy \u003cstrong data-start=\"701\" data-end=\"726\"\u003e“Smells Like I Tried”\u003c\/strong\u003e label delivers the honesty nobody asked for, while the Clean Cotton scent politely lies on your behalf. Perfect for kitchens, bathrooms, living rooms, or any area where guests might wander in and assume you’ve been productive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"955\" data-end=\"1257\"\u003eWith a \u003cstrong data-start=\"962\" data-end=\"986\"\u003e50–60 hour burn time\u003c\/strong\u003e, this candle will keep the illusion going long after your motivation ran out. When it’s finally done doing all the work for you, the glass jar cleans up easily so you can reuse it for plants, pens, snacks, or the growing list of things you swear you’ll organize someday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1259\" data-end=\"1325\"\u003eBasically, this candle is doing the heavy lifting. You’re welcome.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1327\" data-end=\"1330\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-section-id=\"ebm71m\" data-start=\"1332\" data-end=\"1354\"\u003eProduct Features\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1356\" data-end=\"1522\"\u003e🌱 \u003cstrong data-start=\"1359\" data-end=\"1378\"\u003eNatural soy wax\u003c\/strong\u003e – vegan, eco-friendly, and suspiciously more responsible than most of our life choices. No parabens, phthalates, plastics, or synthetic dyes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1524\" data-end=\"1632\"\u003e🕯 \u003cstrong data-start=\"1527\" data-end=\"1549\"\u003eClean Cotton scent\u003c\/strong\u003e – smells like fresh laundry without the inconvenience of actually doing laundry.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1634\" data-end=\"1768\"\u003e♻ \u003cstrong data-start=\"1636\" data-end=\"1658\"\u003eReusable glass jar\u003c\/strong\u003e – wash it out and reuse it for plants, pens, makeup brushes, or the things you’re pretending are organized.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1770\" data-end=\"1863\"\u003e⏳ \u003cstrong data-start=\"1772\" data-end=\"1796\"\u003e50–60 hour burn time\u003c\/strong\u003e – plenty of time to keep up the appearance that effort occurred.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1865\" data-end=\"1968\"\u003e✔ \u003cstrong data-start=\"1867\" data-end=\"1892\"\u003eASTM safety compliant\u003c\/strong\u003e with a 100% cotton wick, because even sarcastic candles follow the rules.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1970\" data-end=\"2080\"\u003e📏 \u003cstrong data-start=\"1973\" data-end=\"1999\"\u003e9oz size (2.8″ × 3.5″)\u003c\/strong\u003e – compact, glossy labeled, and ready to quietly judge you from the countertop.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2082\" data-end=\"2187\"\u003e🇺🇸 \u003cstrong data-start=\"2087\" data-end=\"2111\"\u003eAssembled in the USA\u003c\/strong\u003e from globally sourced parts. Because “I tried” is an international feeling.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2189\" data-end=\"2192\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-section-id=\"7hgmwo\" data-start=\"2194\" data-end=\"2217\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2219\" data-end=\"2440\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e• Keep candle within sight while burning. We trust you, but still.\u003cbr data-start=\"2285\" data-end=\"2288\"\u003e• Keep away from children, pets, and anything flammable. Chaos doesn’t need help.\u003cbr data-start=\"2369\" data-end=\"2372\"\u003e• Trim wick to ¼″ before lighting. Congratulations, you tried again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"z-0 flex min-h-[46px] justify-start\"\u003e \u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"mt-3 w-full empty:hidden\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"text-center\"\u003e \u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/article\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Clean Cotton \/ 9oz","offer_id":51449841484097,"sku":"15856981972221661313","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0919\/3504\/8001\/files\/14575832997680972829_2048.jpg?v=1772854967","url":"https:\/\/thetwistedgifter.com\/products\/smells-like-i-tried-9oz-scented-candle","provider":"The Twisted Gifter","version":"1.0","type":"link"}